I must have struggled with anger my whole life. A couple years ago I asked my mother what I was like as a child, the only answers she gave me included my temper and temperament. Rather than deal with it or transmute it, I learned to bury it.
As I got older it got harder to bury my anger and equivalent emotions. And when at last I blew, it felt good to release some of the pent-up energy from inside of me. I learned about power over others through my anger, and whenever I felt threatened, insecure, or scared, I would bring the fire.
Often when we don’t feel safe to be seen or don’t feel accepted for who we are, we lash out. We join the battle of duality, I am right, and you are wrong, because how can we both be right?! A lot of my anger, even as a small child, was from not being allowed to be me. I was too much. As I got older this story continued to play out just with different characters and in different scenes.
I am not impressed by those who knowbut by those who live what we know in our hearts to be truth, even natural laws. When we fight others, we are harming everyone; when we fight all that is base and self-willed in us, we are benefiting everyone. Again, anger is the egos defense against fear. So, the real question is, what are we afraid of?
The battle is not outside that is a projection. The battle is inside, against the ego that feels threatened. We must battle each and every day against our own impatience, inadequacy, hostility, and resentment. We must conquer judgement, even against ourselves.
My wish today is for forgiveness, to let go rather than be dragged by past and present experiences.
True strength and bravery is to remain patient under attack, to not retaliate, to not perpetuate suffering. Because only hurt people hurt people.
I want to heal myself so that I can help others do the same. I want to perpetuate health.
Is the fire driving you?
Who do you choose to be today?
Brightest of blessings,