Law of Detachment
My number one value in life is freedom. I have known this for a long time as whenever I feel trapped or forced I buck at the current situation. Take this brain injury for instance. For almost five years I have said, I just want to be better. When asked what this means or if this is really what I want I have had to explain to each person that it means having the right to choose. I want the ability to choose what I do with my life, with each hour of each day. This feeling of being trapped by my brain has caused me a lot of suffering. But, what is suffering? It is the space between reality and your expectations. Ouch!
When I began studying the natural, or spiritual, laws of life I found myself very drawn to the Law of Detachment. I started to understand that my mental suffering is caused by my attachment to my identities, my expectation of who I think I should be and be able to do.
To live in accordance with this law is to live in relative peace. This is because those who live in detachment realize they are neither their body nor mind. The aspect of personality I would use to describe this is equanimity. To be forgiving and humble, filled with inner-strength and self-control. This can feel very daunting when we look at the whole picture of ourselves, this was how it has felt for me. But if we break it down into bite-size chunks, it can feel much more doable.
The secret to achieving a life of detachment is a small-ego. All aspects of personality that align with this law bring us on a journey of shrinking our ego. Less of ME and more of WE. Not the absence of I, but part of the whole and equally important to all.
Forgiveness itself can feel unattainable in some situations and relationships, so maybe even this gets broken down a bit. We can start by focusing on humility, which is really the absence of pride. Pride equates to rigidity, where humility equals inner-strength.
It is pride that stops us from forgiving and creates walls between us and them. When we tap into our inner-resources we are able to turn our backs on our pride and begin taking the necessary steps toward reconciliation. It is through our actions that we heal and be healed.
Nonviolence is more than not acting out in anger, it is a mental state. When we free our minds from anger we become alchemists – transforming anger into compassion and kindness, This is our true natural state. When we plant seeds or ideas of negativity, judgment, and anger within us, we choke out our natural crop of kindness, love and compassion. So the first step is to release pride, so that humility can grow.
Each time we step forward with pride – behaving from anger or fear – it is like creating little pinpricks in our consciousness allowing for harsh words and actions to seep out of us. Each time we forgive others their outbursts, forgiveness acts like a balm, healing the wounds within ourselves. As Eknath Easwaren says, Forgiveness is important in every relationship, but it is essential in love.
Are there tools to help?
Through meditation, as our minds become calmer and self-will fades, detachment comes and our vision clears.
Seeing clearly, and the will to do so, leads us towards forgiveness; in the words of Voltaire, To understand is to forgive all.
Intimacy means, In to me see. This goes both ways, you must truly look for the light in others and let others see you. The will to create a level of intimacy in every relationship is forged in humility and guides us towards forgiveness. Each of these a sign post on the journey of living in accordance to the law of detachment. No longer pushed and pulled by the like and dislike of mind and body, we are able to experience freedom,
Brightest of blessings,