I was an odd child.
Seriously. I was mostly content alone. I played with fairies in my grandparents back yard. I was what the adults called a daydreamer. I found interacting, and thus fitting in, difficult. I was a watcher. As I got older, I was often a wallflower. My friends were outgoing, they had magnetic & dynamic personalities. They were all beautiful, and people were drawn to them.
I had a lot of anger and resentment towards my mother and many parts of my childhood. I dragged those feelings right through my 20s and most of my 30s. At around 38 I was introduced to a book by a healer to help me understand some physical issues I was having, You Can Heal Your Life. In the book it goes through different issues and the thoughts that are connected to them. This was a pivotal moment for me; however, it was the beginning of the book that would change my life.
In the beginning the author shares her belief that we pick our parents. We do this to set the stage for the aspects of life we want to experience and thus, evolve through. So, if we pick our birth can we really be angry with how we were raised? This does not mean people aren’t responsible for themselves, their thoughts, words, and actions. It just means we aren’t victims. By taking this level of responsibility we can begin to heal the old wounds, learning to respond to life rather than react.
Life is really only two things, the field and the knower. The field is made up of the 5 sense perceptions, 5 elements, 5 sense organs, 5 organs of action, 3 components of mind, 3 energies or gunas, and the undifferentiated energy from which all these evolved. From this field arise desire and aversion, pleasure and pain, the body, intelligence, and will. The other thing is You, the Self, Awareness, the Witness, the Knower. When we untangle from the field and simply experience it there is no longer duality. There is no longer suffering. There is the Knower, in union with the field, creating.
Everything else is just a story, an illusion of separation.
My wish for today is to let go. To let go of everything that is anchoring me to fear, anger, resentment, and craving; so that I may live.
What is your wish for yourself today?
Brightest of blessings