Have you noticed that the further you travel on the spiritual path, the more negative thoughts seem to come up?

Like many, driving has always been a good indication of where my mind is at. Someone cuts me off or does something I perceive as ignorant or reckless and the negative thoughts begin, even spoken out loud. Unkind things. Extremely judgemental! 

Now, I have worked really hard at training my thoughts, healing triggers, and letting go of my perceptions of past experiences. So why is it that I am still having to constantly put my thoughts in check? 

Shouldn’t it get better?

 Easier? 

Am I a horrible person?

Sometime ago I wrote about the old Cherokee parable of the two wolves. In short, there is a war within each of us, a war of two wolves. One is all that is hate, anger, jealousy, judgement, etc. The other is all that is love, forgiveness, compassion, etc. The one that wins is the one we feed.

starvation 

So here I am, like many people, trying to feed the wolf of light. I am intentional. I am watching and reading things that align with who I want to be. Spending time with people who inspire me to be better, surrendering daily to living in service of others. BUT, the more I feed the wolf of love the hungrier the wolf of rage becomes. 

Think about times when you are hangry or those around you. How do you behave? What is the energy level of your thoughts and emotions? 

Are you kind?

I understand now what is happening. That wolf of shadow used to be really well fed. Now, I have a new favorite and it is pissed off and hangry. It is trying to survive while I am trying to slay it. It will not go down without a fight. This is why the battle is long.

Sometimes the spiritual journey is exhausting. Sometimes it is scary, and sometimes it is lonely. However, it is always worth it.

Today my wish is to continue to be a spiritual warrior. It is also for you to know you are not alone. 

The Light in me acknowledges and honours the Light in you.

If you are tired, reach out. We can win this battle together.

Brightest of blessings,

Dawn xo

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